Anne Power, who wrote the book, ‘Contented Couples: Magic, logic or luck?‘ (see below) has started an Instagram account and will be a valuable resource for anyone interested in attachment theory. Anne will be presenting on Attachment in Couple Relationships for Greenwood Events on Saturday, 4th of November.
https://www.instagram.com/and_attachment/
An avoidant withdrawer and an anxious pursuer
I think we can see the avoidant’s pain in the blank expression of the doll who has turned their back on their partner. When avoidant people withdraw, they are doing the best they can to regulate themselves. In their minds this is a neutral or even a helpful move. For their abandoned partner who is looking longingly at their back, this is a crushing rejection that longing morphs very swiftly into anger.
Before they reached this moment there was likely an escalating cycle: the more one tried to get their partner’s attention, the more the other tried to make space – and vice versa.